I love crochet but how do I survive Christmas

How oh how do I survive Christmas. I try very hard to remember the purpose for the celebration is the birth of Jesus. It seems that it just serves to remind me of how bad off I am financially. I hope that every year something will change but it doesn't every year is still the same behind on my bills and broke. I have the feeling that there are people in prison that have more money than I have at this time. Most of my problems with money I know are my fault but I cant seem to bring myself out of the rut. I had almost made it out until this year, I worked for over 2 years with consumer credit counseling service and I paid off a lot of old bill and bad credit card. Then I think finally I will be able to get caught up and maybe get ahead and what do you think happens? My babies daddy stops paying child support. So that takes away almost $300.00 per month in income, so here I was a full time and a part time job and still cant get everything paid. To make matters worst dummy me goes out and gets another credit card and then I max it out in less than 6 months no money to pay the bill so the hard work that I did for over 2 years to clean up my credit is about to go down the drain I had to get my daughter ready to go to college that's where most of the money I have has gone. I am very happy that she is in college because I think it is very important for her to get a good education then she wont be like me. Well enough of the pity party. On to the subject that my blog is named for crochet. I am just learning to crochet took 4 classes at Hobby Lobby in November. So as I stated before I have only completed 5 scarves, I tried to pick easy patterns that I can follow. I have found a pattern for a hat it has easy but I am not too sure. So I want to say that I love whoever it was that came up with www.stitchguide.com I went on the site tonight and I watched the cluster stitch and practiced until I go it. Thank you Thank you. Now if someone would come up with a site or would tell me that there is a site that you can go to type in your pattern then the pattern is converted into the symbols I would have it made. Tomorrow I will take patters of the project that I have finished and hopefully get the pictures downloaded.