Need's and Wants

I need a roof and I want to go to the beach. I don't have the money or either one. It is a sad thing to be almost 50 year old woman with a full time job and not be able to with the income I earn take a vacation and do the necessary repairs to my home. When I say we need a roof I mean we really need a roof. We are in the process of trying to get a loan. On my job I am not allowed to borrow money from my mandatory retirement. I can from my voluntary 401k but I don't have enough in this retirement to borrow the entire amount. I don't think I will be able to get the loan. The loan officer at the bank was not very encouraging. I have not been to the beach since 2006 and it was during Christmas. I have not been to the beach in hot weather since 2005 the year my Daughter graduated from high school. She now finished college and in graduate school. I don't feel that I am living I feel that I am just existing. I know before anyone brings up the point I am in a lot better shape than so many people never the less it does not make me feel any better. I am sorry to whine but that's the way I feel. I am unhappy and depressed. I am still working on my working on the Diagonal Comfort Blanket, do far things are going okay. Please believe me when I tell you the pattern is not hard, but if you are watching tv or drinking a lot of wine you will mess up. No crochet at this time. I have finished reading An Honest Love, by Kathleen Fuller and started reading A Hand to Hold, by Kathleen Fuller. I have for now put aside A Fatal Fleece, by  Sally Goldenbaum. Today while I was at Walmart I picked up a new book The Half-Stitched Amish Quilting Club, by Wanda E Brunstetter. It has been a hot but good weekend. My Mother and I meet my Daughter at Costco yesterday to do some  shopping and the we went to lunch at Olive Garden, I love Olive Garden. I had my favorite soup and salad. A trip to Whole Foods and I have decided to start buying our meat from Whole foods. Every time we go to the grocery store and look at meat it has been injected with a solution.   So many things to think about. Oh well True Blood it's Sunday night.